And now the news:

Madonna played to a sell out crowd in Los Angeles tonight. The none too good looking ex-professional boy's masturbation fantasy and wanky ass pop star said, "While it's true that I am richer than all of creation I'm so fucked in the head that I still need attention from people that I don't actually know in person." She then added, in a very phony English accent, "Know what I mean, gov?" Twenty minutes after making that statement she was shot in the face by someone who the police didn't bother trying to contain, figuring the world would now be a much better place. They were right. She is now dead. We'll have more on this story just as soon as the three people left who give a shit bother calling the station and asking us for it.