But...

of course
i couldn't really ever hurt anybody
sometimes
it's just kind of soothing
to think about that stuff

like
'if i whack that fuck in the back of the skull with that giant ass jug of mazola oil i could be next in line. i'd probably make it to the parking lot by november and everything.'

or
'she ate my last doughnut. guess i'll drop kick her ass off the fucking roof. fair is fair, you know? i mean, we ARE talking krispy-kreme here.'

or
'hmmmmmmmm... is it still against the law to park a car on some lunkhead's fat fucking neck or did that revenge thing get voted in last time? i was killing poodles for satan that day.'

see?

i feel better already...