K.

i was thinking about k. the other day

(it happens on rare occasions)

she was great.

she wouldn't ask, "Do I look fat in this?", sucking me into some sort of mind game. she'd state, "I look so fat in this.", so i'd have to be all guy-like and play the mind game, "Are you kidding? You look amazing!"

her smile told me that i was doing well.

she once wrote me a note on the front of my t-shirt as we were talking and another time stole a hologram pin off of my jacket. both times without missing a beat. as if it were the most natural thing in the world. she'd grab my hand and drag me through the mall, showing me things in windows. i'd fake bitch about it and make jokes, loving the moment i was living in.

it WAS the most natural thing in the world.

i didn't have to act like i was in control. i just lived in the moment. i could react instead of ACT. her games were more real than my having to force my ideas of reality on things. they just... were.

she was the zen goddess of flirting.

i miss her a lot.

of course, she turned out to be crazy.

but

who the fuck isn't?